George and Gandalf
by Wario the TableMan
Summary: The prophecy gets ahead of itself in the darkest of times...


George held the scepter and stared into Gandalf's magical eyes. "Do you see, Gandalf? Do you see my strife. It so very much torments my holy soul."

"Yo, you're holy souly ain't no obstruction to our greater good," said Gandalf. He raged with his pointed teeth (canines) and grit them too (molars). "Cease your quelling spirit of the Christmas season, George!"

"Nay," said George. He whisked the scepter in the air like furious fury (not the Nick variety). He gained the solid energy from the gods and goddesses resided on Mt. Olympus with Zeus and George II.

"What is he being a maddening heart about, wise Gandalf?" asked Sam, weeping about parsley dishes that he was preparing for his dear Mr. Frodo.

"Shut up, Sam," said Frodo, he was busy in his rock place, the place wear he spent most of his time counting rocks and listening to totally sick Cyndi Lauper songs on his Nintendo SwitchTM.

"Totes," agreed Gandalf. He felt bad for Sam's mistreatment, but didn't really care now because George had such deadly power.

"What would Spock do?" asked Gimli to himself in a short kind of way.

Legolas eyed him with his eyeing elf eyes of glory and smirked, relieving himself of the dark consequences of George's madness. "You think small, Gimli," he said, getting ever so cocky. "Shall I get you a box." He revealed the sacred box of Cheese Nips from his quiver.

Gimli took of the cheesy delight and opened its containment unit. He then shoved it all down his gullet and named his toes "Fillmore". This the trunks way (not elephant nose).

"Where is life when Santa is so fat?" asked George, quite grouchily. He took out his deagle and blasted a hole in the space-time continuum.

"This is a very totally mess!" cried Gandalf. He quickly reversed the side affects of most community toadstools!

This was when Piccolo heard the noise of truth from his antennae. He told his brother Mr. Joe to pay close hearing and listening skills to the attention-grabbing beings down below them in Middle Earth.

Mr. Joe shook his head. "Brother, we need the Toa for this..."

***"Come and Get Your Love" by Redbone plays***

Lewa is walking through the forest of Le-Wahi, thinking about raviolis and other holy devices.

"What is going on, Toa-Hero?" asked a green Matoran local named Kongu. He had yet to become a Toa because this stinking story doesn't take place during the Voya-Nui arc even though the Piraka are the coolest characters in the series, no questions asked a la Obi-Wan's business proposals.

"Oh boy, we're gonna be money-rich!" said Lewa with so much slang in his groovy life.

Kongu nodded and joined in on the smooth stroll through the lush green expanse.

Just then, Piccolo and Mr. Joe teleported down to the middle of the jungle, right in front of the two. "Listen well, you two," Piccolo said while gargling with salt water. He spat and felt refreshed immediately. "We need really big help like your caliber-type excellence mayhaps..."

"You say this?" asked Lewa, scratching his mask.

"Totes," said Piccolo. He then drew the chalk portal that he received from Rudy Tabootie.

"This is a negative occurrence?" asked Kongu.

"Aye," said Mr. Joe. He studied his ancient tome for hints about George's defeat. He unfortunately found absolutely none.

"Gee, said Lewa. "Kenny is not going to be at all thrilled by this progression..."

Kenny wasn't. He sat by the accordion shack in Sokovia and waited for the individual to arrive.

He came with a loaded gun and the hair of an angel.

"'Tis you..." Kenny breathed with melancholy relief.

"Yeah, dude," said the newcomer. "It is I, the Winter Soldier: Hotbaby Barnes."

Kenny examined the righteous pecky-abby goodness on Barnes. "Let's go whup major tush!"

And so, the land opened up and the Middle Earth became Top Earth because when you do that with an old caterpillar plush I had as a kid, then the butterfly is revealed and it's a really neat metaphor for metamorphisis.

"The Animorphs are terrifying..." said George, surveying the lands and spying on Legolas's perfect elf ears.

"He is seeing my glistering self, for I am like a Minecraft melon with all the necessary health benefits, eh?"

Gandalf grimaced and thought about turkey tenderloins. He took out his bacon slab that he had received from his mom on wizard graduation day. "Shall I cook this on your face when I totally burn you, George?" he roared.

"Hit me with your best shot," George challenged Benatarringly.

"Fine..." Gandalf sighed with an aching third kidney that only wizards possessed. "What's the difference between a sponge with a cow and a dairy product from the depths of Chicago's sewers?"

George thought long and hard about the destiny-favoured riddle. "I do not have a good answer. May I come back to this next week?"

"No! Answer my quirky Q now, homedawg!"

"Never!" George got a banana slicer and shot its power at Gandalf.

Gimli jumped in the way of the shot and took the hit. He was disintegrated to pixie dust in a matter of four seconds easy.

"Gimli has done a daisy pushing activity!" cried Sam.

"I don't care," said Mr. Frodo.

Sam wept.

Legolas smirked, bought into the idea of cool shoes, and went Nike-less for twelve consecutive days. That was how you shove the ugly powers of corporations down the throats of brutish, inhumane CEOs like Captain Falcon.

When Aragorn witnessed the occasions on the eastern side, he became immensely worried. He quickly made his way down to the action site and questions his bro-for-life Legolas about the powers of George.

"The slimeball despises Christmas like a total lout," explained Legolas with so much swagger that it made my grandpa wish for cheese doodles.

Aragorn looked savagely up at George's dangerous being. "I wish he did not hate Santa. That's because Santa is a great guy who delivers cool presents like Legos, ponies, and rocking horses."

"Yes, but Mr. Frodo dislikes presents..." admitted Sam.

"Hold thine tongue, Samuel..." said Frodo, pronouncing it "TON-GOO" for some unworldly reason.

"My name is not Samuel, it is Samba De Amigo from the cool Dreamcast game on your favourite hashtag!" explained Sam with powerful understanding of the gaming industry. He was a nerd, but not a cool nerd like Sheldon.

Frodo rolled his eyes. "Belay this nonsense and please defeat George and his dishonourable wrath."

"Yes sir, Mr. Frodo!" said Sam wisely as he ran into George with a sword.

George ate the sword and punched Sam with a zillion ouching pains. Sam was defeated and everyone had the greatest gasp ever.

This was a deadly threat and the end was definitely getting juicier with each step of the beast we call fate.

**How does it end?**

**Next Sonic X, we will see...**

**SOME KIND OF SIGN**

**TELL ME**

**ARE YOU... HOT LEGOLAS?**


End file.
